So these last seven days, I’ve been trying to look at my body in a new light. I’m not sure I’ll ever truly love certain parts of me, both physical and mental parts. But I have to admit, I am more attractive than I thought. My legs aren’t nearly as bad as I thought they were. They’re never going to be stick thin, but I have actually realised that they are becoming less fat and more muscular each week. And truly, I would rather enjoy birthday cake and chips (separately, not together) than have super thin legs.
My arms are a different matter, they can’t ever be changed. But I think it’s true what they say, the people who matter don’t care, and the people who care don’t matter. The people who used to remark on my arms were never my friends. I don’t talk to them any more, I haven’t done for years. My friends from university tell me I’m beautiful. And I think they believe it. I can’t ever express how much their love has changed the way I think about myself.
Will I ever be a model? No. Do I deserve more than a man who uses me and throws me away as soon as he’s got what he wants? Most definitely. It’s all about confidence. Which links into my next task beautifully. I am not going to enjoy the next seven days. All will be revealed tomorrow.